I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
