I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
