What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
