Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
