id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
