I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
