well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
