almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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