First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
