plz talk dirty to me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
