If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My vagina just clenched in fear
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
