whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
