you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
