His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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