The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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