Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
