You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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