I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
