What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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