I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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