Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
