So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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