a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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