sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That's intense
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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