Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
