Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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