There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
