What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
