what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
