YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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