What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
