we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
