What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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