we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
