I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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