fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
