i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
