I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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