dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
