im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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