If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
