Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
