When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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