Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
