Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
