my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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