The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i will never coherently bang her
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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