THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
