i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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