it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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