Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
