I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
